I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
