Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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