Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
