I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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