Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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