Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
