i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
