i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
