Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
