I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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