Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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