So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
