so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Mom said you looked used
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
