i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize