i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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