dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Randomize
