just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize