And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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