I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
