pop tarts are not kleenex
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
