remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
