the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
