no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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