Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
