i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
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I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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