FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
