All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
