omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
