well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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