New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
