I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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