How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
