I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You need Xanax blowdarts
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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