We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
