Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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