i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
