If i come over, it means nothing
I need to stop coming to work sober
I wish i was in the wii world.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
