I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
