Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
