It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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