Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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