Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
