Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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