NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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