these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
