Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize