Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
