Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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