you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
