no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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