I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize