Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
