were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
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Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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