I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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