Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
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