so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
