I think my vagina is haunted
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
