Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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