Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
