Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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