Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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