pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize