it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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