No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
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