garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize