Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize